Dear The Man Your Man Could Smell Like,
Hello. How are you? Fantastic.
There are few instances in life where you meet someone so manly that it makes you question your place within the species. Had you lived back in "the day" you would have probably wrangled dames with Sinatra and chugged cigar flavored beer with John Wayne. I heard you once placed third in a marathon while wearing homemade chain mail, self-welded from the remains of a 1960's muscle car. And you captained a tugboat towing a ship full of gunpowder, hairspray and flint rocks down the Mississippi? Is that true? If so, bully! You are a lion amongst men.
...ohh, and question - how does one tend goal for an entire hockey match wearing only a helmet made of meat? Your machismo astounds me.
Despite my affinity for underwater ninja combat fighting and flaming chariot races your strapping good looks and undulating voice has left me pondering my own testosterone levels. I have simultaneously arm wrestled Charleton Heston and pistol whipped a grizzly bear, yet my lady friend still looks at my mustache-less face with regret. Even back rubs with chocolate and the tears of babies whilst humming Marvin Gaye tunes can't shake your image from her head. But I am not bitter nor jealous. No, not me. Rather I am humbled to have met you, for you have given me a new standard of manliness to work towards. I must say I monocle smile every time I see one of your preachings.
Lumberjack pose:
I have been a devout user of Old Spice deodorant since before the crow flies but have failed to convert to your beloved body wash. Forgive me. Perhaps this is why I can't pilot a fighter jet blindfolded with my feet? Only blindfolded. But, I use soap. Soap that has little rough scrubby things in it. Dare I say, manlier than any body wash out there. I basically clean my man skin with sandpaper. You should try it.
Paragraph break.
What's that? Yes. It's me. Trying to hold back tears. If my tear ducts worked, that is. I would be openly weeping knowing that you are leaving us. But they do not. They were harvested at birth to produce medicine. Medicine that makes erections. But alas, your time with us has been special and we have all benefited from your wisdom.
So long, old friend. Enjoy retirement and tell MacGuyver and Chuck Norris I said hello.
I'm on a blog.
Bacon and booze forever,
R/C
A few of my favorites (there are so many):
So much more on the campaign:
Old Spice
YouTube
Creativity Online
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